Continuant. Part three.

The hall is dark as I try to let my eyes make the unrecognizable, reckonable. I feel my heart pound in my throat. I was nervous though I shouldn’t be, but I was. I hear my parents startled murmurs as Raisin appears in the room. He shushes them but they move to the door. I use a bar I found next to a radiator to pin it close, as with memory. The handle rattles, but the door doesn’t move. More hushed voices, I hear Raisin trying to reason with them. I wish it could be different, I could be in the room and Raisin out here. He was better at the sabotage after all. I kneel down and begin to unscrew the outlet with my pocket knife.

Raisin and my parents shout back and forth. Distracted by the voices on the other side of the door I sit with my mouth open. A moment passes and my mouth feels dry, closing it I pull out the two wires Raisin had me gather to trigger the fire. It seemed simple enough at the time, secure the wires, bend them in a way that once the outlet is put back in place they should touch and spark. Well, it seemed easy. The voices grow quiet, but the door handle still moves. Feeling the need to calm the rattle that’s in my hands I pull a cigarette out of my pack. I light it, inhale, the smoke filling my chest, it feels good. I get to work on the outlet, puffing away at the cigarette I move my hands slowly place the delicate first wire. It was a lot easier than I thought. I inhale then place the second wire. I give a shit house grin when the wire stays as I let it go. Puffing at my cigarette I look up to the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

He yells some sort of obscenity as he comes running at me. I try to remember myself doing that, but all I could remember was his kick, which comes at the same moment I remember giving it. I drop my weight and move out of the way. He passes me then comes again with another wild kick, I shift out of its way like a slow pass. Taking the opportunity I give a couple jabs at his stomach, my stomach, I feel bad for it. He crumbles to the other wall. I raise my foot to kick him, but his face, my face looks up at me. My guilt swirls in me as I stare down at him. He pounces on my delay by throwing his body upwards and grabs me at the waist. I want to laugh at the situation, but my back crashes into the wall, breaking the drywall into small and large chunks. I slam my elbow down on him, once, then twice, then too many to count. I felt anger and I was not sure from where, but it felt good to take it out on myself, being it, however, the younger version of me. He falls limp to the floor. The door handle shakes again, I hear Raisin and my parent’s quick whispers. I go back to what I was doing. I put the wires back in place and set the outlet into the hole in the wall. Pushing the outlet the rest of the way with my foot the sparks flash and I hear a sizzling sound. I can swear I smell sulfur.

I bend over my younger self. He isn’t quite here nor is he there. Tears begin to pour out of his eyes and run down the side of his face. The reserve of hope depleted. He opens them again, his eyes that is, to be here for only a small moment. He looks at me with a blazing hate, the hall begins to fill with smoke. Reaching into my pocket I pull out the photocopied paper. Making sure he can see every action. The door knob shakes again as I whisper to my younger self. “You’ll figure it out soon enough.” I stuff the paper into his pocket. I hear Raisin say something and then the front door is pounded on. Pulling my fist back, I give him an earnest look, then I make my younger self sleep it off. Shaking the shock out of my hand I sit up and head to the door to my parent’s room. I remove the bar and try to open it but there’s a weight to it. I yell for Raisin “Are you still here, the fire is going crazy, you need to leave!” I hear a gasp that belongs to a woman, my Mother. “Well Karl, they don’t believe me, they don’t, oh, and he has a bat.” The fire is hot on my back when I come up with something. Licking my drying lips I speak “Mom, Dad, it’s me, Noah.” I hear all three of them whisper my old name. “I know this doesn’t make very much sense, and it shouldn’t, but I need you two to go with my friend Raisin. I’ll explain everything to you later, I promise. I love you guys… Raisin now!” I hear him run forward then there’s a cracking sound.

The smoke is immense and hot, it turns the dark into black as I struggle my way to myself. I cough, or well, we both do, I follow the sound on hands and knees. My fingers slide over his wrist, my wrist. I fumble into my pocket for my device. Something breaks, it’s dark, too dark.