For a while now I have been trying to figure out how to tell my story. After one night of drinking peach schnapps, I recalled that I invented the internet. Of course, I let my good secret friend Lawrence G. Roberts take the credit. I remember the conversation like it was last week, primarily because it was about a week ago. After a long afternoon of browsing the newspaper classified ads, I decided to go back in time and get the ball rolling on the whole spacespace- I mean the internet.
It was 1966; I met Lawrence after he was walking out of the Lincoln Laboratory. He carried the sort of smug smile that only a man in computer science would have if I swung that way I may have fallen in love with him then. Being a little hung-over I was quite bit nervous, I approached him and we got to talking surprisingly right away. We got to talking about the civil rights movement, in which it was decided we should continue this conversation at a nearby bar.
Right off the bat, you could tell Lawrence was an extremely bright man- the perfect candidate to design the spacespace internet. This, of course, would need to be dealt with afterward, first, we drank. Like most people at this time, he could handle himself quite beautifully with whiskey. The conversation quickly turned into which we discussed the possibilities of him leaving with one of the cute girls at the end of the bar. He liked them small- she was about 5’1, probably taller, my head was resting on the bar at the time.
I was awakened by Lawrence, stating he was going to leave with the cute girl. They said something about somewhere. Moments later I found my way out of the bar in which I discover them across the street with other MIT students. I wonder my way across and was greeted by Lawrence as if we were old friends. This warmed my heart, that or the scotch did.
While the party calmed down, I found myself alone at a kitchen table with Lawrence. He lost his glasses; this made him look young and handsome. I discussed with him the work of Licklider; how a network similar to this was possible. I began to draw this on his arm, every detail painfully scraped across his flesh. This is the moment the internet came to be, on the arm of a brilliant man. After this exchange, Lawrence mentioned he should probably get to bed. I shook his hand and wished him a wonderful life.
I finished off the night and returned to 2011 to discover I had several advanced computers in my house that were networked in an amazing way so they could browse and view web pages within seconds. I was delighted of this, even more so when I found a lot of nude pictures you could easily access on such a device. So as you wade through this treasure trove of naked men and women, I hope you stopped at this site and discovered how the internet was truly invented. I shall update this site with my continued stories through time.